FBI’s glossary of Internet slang is made public — it’s 83 pages long and absolutely hilarious

In order to keep up with the ever-evolving lexicon of Internet slang, the FBI has been maintaining a glossary of Internet-isms, if you will; today, it is 83 pages long, contains nearly 3,000 terms, and is public knowledge.

The document was recently made public through a Freedom of Information request by the group MuckRock, which posted the PDF, referred to as “Twitter shorthand” online. 

Despite its title, the document isn’t just Twitter slang: the FBI’s Intelligence Research Support Unit explains in its introduction, that it is a briefing on shorthand used across the Internet, including in “instant messages, Facebook, and MySpace”. 

Now, while the MySpace reference might suggest the document as being a bit out of touch, some of the terms noted within it absolutely confirm this assertion. Phrases like ALOTBSOL, short for “always look on the bright side of life” and AMOG for “alpha male of group” are just two of the first 10 entries in the document. 

Here are some other peculiar suggestions:
1. AYFKMWTS (“are you f—— kidding me with this s—?”) — 990 tweets
2. BFFLTDDUP (“best friends for life until death do us part) — 414 tweets
3. BTDTGTTSAWIO (“been there, done that, got the T-shirt and wore it out”) — 47 tweets
4. BTWITIAILWY (“by the way, I think I am in love with you”) — 535 tweets
5. DILLIGAD (“does it look like I give a damn?”) — 289 tweets
6. DITYID (“did I tell you I’m depressed?”) — 69 tweets
7. IITYWIMWYBMAD (“if I tell you what it means will you buy me a drink?”) — 250 tweets
8. LLTA (“lots and lots of thunderous applause”) — 855 tweets
9. PMYMHMMFSWGAD (“pardon me, you must have mistaken me for someone who gives a damn”) — 128 tweets
10. YKWRGMG (“you know what really grinds my gears?”) — 1,204 tweets

Now, while these are amusing, there are a few the FBI got right: the phrase “crunk” does, in fact, refer to an individual who is both “crazy and drunk”; “FF” is “a recommendation to follow someone reference in the tweet”; “hafta” is “have to”; “ima” is “I’m going to”; and “kewt” is actually slang for “cute”. 

Most people reading through this list will be enraged by the idea that the country’s tax dollars are being wasted on such trivial nonsense, but the fact of the matter is that a lot of crime is going online nowadays, and it is well documented that both law and law enforcement are always far behind technology and technology culture in general. So, while a majority of this list is laughable, its purpose is actually quite serious. 

I just wonder if someone might want to make the FBI aware of the great online resource that is urbandictionary.com

Story via washingtonpost.com