All I want for Christmas

While I tried this year to use the pages of Electronic Products to express some of my many opinions, you certainly have not been privy to my daily rants and raves about technology. So, I figured I’d share with you this open letter to I’m sending to Techno Claus, whose address seems to be not in the frigid North Pole but in milder Silicon Valley.

Dear Techno Claus,

I don’t want to sound like an ingrate, but this year, please forgo the latest iPod. The only Chocolate I can use is edible. Leave the satellite radio under someone else’s fiber-optic tree. And, as for a new laptop with wireless capability, we’ll connect next year. Here are some things I can really use.

— Free access to network television stations: I’m not ancient, but I’m old enough to remember when the only costs associated with watching television were the set itself and the electricity used to power it.

— DSL service to my apartment building: I’d like to work from home sometimes, and I like finding old music videos on YouTube. I can’t do either with dial-up, and I refuse to pay the local cable company’s outrageous prices for broadband access.

— A cell phone that is strictly a phone: I’ve never seen a good photo taken with a cell-phone camera and I’d rather listen to my favorite tunes through speakers that actually sound good.

— A few more regional cable providers who can bring prices down: We don’t need to get into this here.

— A television I won’t have to replace in a couple of years: I know, use a converter box.

Well, I think these are fairly reasonable requests. The best part is, don’t even worry about the whole chimney thing. A couple of flyers in the Sunday paper will do the trick!