Programmer wrote series of scripts to secretly automate parts of his job, email his wife, and make a latte

On GitHub, there’s an amusing little project being shared by a programmer named Nihad Abbasov, which consists of software scripts collected from one of his former co-workers. 

These are not your typical scripts — according to Abbasov, the former co-worker that wrote them was the type of person that “if something — anything — requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.” 

When the coworker left the company, Abbasov and his band of coworkers went through the employee’s computer to see what needed to be trashed and what needed to be saved, whereupon they came across a private collection of scripts that can only be described as “unique”. Among those discovered: scripts that automated part of his job, his relationships, and the company coffee machine. 

For instance, one script sent a text message to his wife that read “late at work’ and automatically picked a reason from a preset list whenever there was activity with his login on the company’s computer servers after 9pm. 

Another script scanned his inbox for a specific customer that had repeat problems with his computer servers. The scan would look for emails from said customer that contained the words “help”, “trouble”, and “sorry”, at which point the system would automatically roll the customer’s database to the latest backup, then send a reply “No worries mate, be careful next time.”

Another script sent an email excuse that read “not feeling well, working from home” if he wasn’t logged in to his company’s computer at work by 845am.

The name of that script is “hangover”, for those interested.

Perhaps the best bit of code within the collection was his coffee one. This script waits 17 seconds after the last coffee has been made, then hacks into the machine and orders it to start brewing a latte. It then tells the machine to wait 24 seconds before pouring the latte into a cup — the exact amount of time it takes to walk from his desk to the coffee machine. 

To see the complete project, head over to GitHub. Warning, the titles of some of these scripts could be seen as offensive. 

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