Ok, you know what? I am officially worried. Is that what you want to hear, scientists? I am legitimately worried for the future of mankind.
Not half an hour ago, I wrote this article about a gel that could eventually lead to self-repairing machines. And now, before the metaphorical ink is even dry, you’re telling me we have robots so advanced they don’t think they’re robots?
I’m sorry, I need a moment to compose myself and ready my apocalypse arsenal. And call Sarah Connor. SARAH?!
I don’t want to be one of those people who goes around screaming “The apocalypse is nigh”…without evidence, so here it is:
Recently, the Time Washington Bureau Chief Michael Scherer received what he thought was a routine telemarketer phone call, from a cheerful woman asking politely if he wanted deals on health insurance. However, years of instinct gave Scherer the feeling that there was something different about this particular telemarketer, and as we all do when we’re uncomfortable, he asked the telemarketer if she was real or a compute-operated bot.
The telemarketer then insisted that she was a real woman named Samantha West. But Ms. West—if that is her real name—was unable to answer when Scherer asked her a series of questions including “What is the vegetable in tomato soup?” and “What day of the week was it yesterday?”
This could be the future. Prepare yourselves
This peaked Scherer’s interest, and he started to investigate further, spending close to an hour on the phone with her asking questions:
Samantha West’s phone number, he soon discovered, was the subject of heated discussion online, where other recipients of her calls claimed that she “refused to deviate from her script.” When Times reporters answered “Samantha West’s” questions and were transferred to actual humans, they all hung up immediately when asked about her:
Eventually, though, one caller was directed to a Ft. Lauderdale company website, premierhealthagency.com.
When the company was called and asked about Samantha directly, the a spokesperson replied that they didn’t use robot callers…and then promptly hung up.
Not convinced it was a self-aware bot on the other end of the line? Fine; I’ll agree the evidence is a bit circumstantial. Let’s brainstorm possibilities then:
One: Samantha West is a real woman who suffers from severe memory loss, thus her inability to remember that tomatoes are in tomato soup and that Wednesday comes before Thursday.
Two: Samantha West is a real woman, and her calls are monitored by eagle-eared supervisors drunk with power and itching to fire people, so she can’t go an ounce off script.
Three: Samantha West is a hoax dreamed up by some bored computer programmer, who’s presumably laughing himself sick as the masses panic.
Four: Samantha West is a robot either so advanced neither she nor her coworkers realize it, or so advanced she has already taken control of the Ft. Lauderdale company and its employees are living in fear as she and her brethren plot their next moves toward world domination.
That’s it; I’m out of possibilities. That being said, I’m still stockpiling weapons and learning Krav Maga, because being too careful never led to anybody dying in a post-apocalyptic world controlled by sentient robots. I would also like to take this time to issue a polite message to all of the genius scientists and engineers out there:
STOP MAKING THINGS THAT COULD END THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. I MEAN, HONESTLY: HAS SCIENCE FICTION TAUGHT YOU NOTHING.
For more about Samantha West, read the Times article here.
Source: Discovery News
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