By Brian Santo, contributing writer
Life is good. This is one of the reasons why: In the most exciting development since the combine demolition derby, the world’s first human-piloted giant mechanized robots have engaged in mortal combat. It was America versus Japan. And it was awesome.
There is a rich literary history of robot battles, but the first time anyone actually got to fight with mechanized pugilists was in 1964 with the introduction of Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots , which, in another sign that life is worth living, is still available for purchase. In 1978, Survival Research Laboratories (“Producing the Most Dangerous Shows on Earth”) began staging a series of performances that include what were certainly among the first commercial instances of robot combat.
And then in 1986 came “Aliens,” indisputably the greatest movie in the history of ever. Is there anything cooler than Ripley buckling into an exosuit power loader to take on the alien queen? The answer is no, Brian, there is nothing cooler than Ripley buckling into an exosuit power loader to take on the alien queen.
Or that was the answer for 31 years, until a bunch of engineers built real exobots and recently battled for real.
Gui Cavalcanti and Matt Oehrlein are what happen when you raise a generation of kids on science-fiction movies, video games, and comic books. They putatively grew up, became engineers, and established MegaBots Inc. with one mission in mind.
“Giant fighting robots has been a dream for us — for a generation of people, really,” said Oehrlein in the video chronicling the battle. “Our goal was robot combat from the very beginning.”
Then they discovered that they were not alone. Japanese engineer Kogoro Kurata had been working with Suidobashi Heavy Industry to also build giant exobots.
Oehrlein and Cavalcanti couldn’t contain themselves. They reached out to Kurata immediately.
“Suddenly, the challenge from America showed up, so I thought, what the hell, let’s do this,” said Kurata in the video.
The MegaBots guys were so excited that they built a second fighting robot. Kurata agreed to take them both on.
The matches were held in a steel mill in Japan.
Round One was MegaBots’ original robot, Iron Glory, versus Suidobashi Heavy Industry’s KURATAS.
Iron Glory weighs 6 tons, stands 15 feet tall at full extension, and runs on a 24 HP engine. It is equipped with a paintball cannon. Each paintball weighs 3 pounds and is fired at 130 miles per hour.
KURATAS weighs 6.5 tons. It is far spryer with an 18-mph top speed. It is equipped with a half-ton punching arm and a paintball Gatling gun.
Round Two was MegaBot’s Eagle Prime versus KURATAS. Eagle Prime is a 12-ton behemoth that can expand to 16 feet. Its top speed is only 10 mph, but it boasts a 430-HP engine. Shades of Ash from the Evil Dead, one arm is a chainsaw.
Round One was an unexpected and devastating TKO. Round Two included a surprise techno-twist, the play-by-play announcers literally running for their lives, and a crushing defeat. You have to watch ; it is completely and totally worth the waste of half an hour.
The MegaBots guys walked out of combat utterly jazzed. “It’s time to make this a sports league,” exulted Oehrlein.
Yes. He is correct.
And one more thing, and this is so excellent, it might make you cry. You can buy your own custom KURATAS, base price only $1.35 million.
This is a great time to be alive, readers. A great time to be alive.
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